Long Lasting

Today is our 10 year wedding anniversary. 


The last gallon of milk I bought was dated today. So nice of my milk to celebrate with us… by going bad?  Oh well, our marriage is not “Best before” today. It’s going to get better and worse. That’s a vow. 

The 10 year traditional gift is tin/aluminum. The modern gift is diamond jewelry. Seriously!  That’s a big price difference. My dad was theorizing that 10 years is not what it used to be when it comes to a lasting marriage. He said it seemed way more of a milestone now in our divorce prone world. 

I recently visited with a couple about to celebrate 50 years. I asked them if they’ve outlived all of their wedding gifts. She told me stories of a glass bowl set of many colors. She said a few broke and one red one is now white from being washed in a dishwasher.  (There’s some symbolism in there if you scratch the surface, I’m sure.) The gift they still use and has lasted is a hot/cold chafing dish. 

As much as it is frustrating when something we use all the time breaks, I think, well, our marriage has lasted longer than…

Our coffee pot (I’ve broken three, no four!). Our toaster. All of our non stick pans (if their coating is gone, you’re supposed to replace it.) A blender. A microwave. A dryer. Two DVD players and two Blu Ray players. 

We’ve lasted through several world events. Three presidential elections. Three summer Olympic Games.  We survived several life events, including some of the big stressors. Having kids, check check. Moving, check. Changing jobs, check. Illness, check check. 

It’s fun to take inventory like this. What has your marriage outlasted? 

What is keeping up with you?  Our electric tea kettle still works.  Thanks Grandma and Annette. Our red cloth napkins have made the journey with us too. Thanks Tarrah. 

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Good for a Laugh

I’m coming off conference high right now. It was three days full of workshops and main sessions, amazing challenges and innovative ideas. I laughed until I cried every day.  Too many times I was still laughing from one gaff when the next was zinging me before I was done. Like labor contractions on top of each other… but with laughter, not crazy pain. 

It’s been too long. 

I need to laugh more.

It’s not that I’m grumpy or angry, maybe just too serious. 

Can you have a New Years resolution start in May?  I say yes!

So please please please I need suggestions for great reads, watches, and listens that will make me laugh. 

I’ve got my own little list of what gets me. I’m curious what your list would include. I can’t promise I’ll read or watch what you suggest, but I might. I’m guessing it would reveal some personal taste in humor and that’s good to know even for our own benefit. 

What makes you laugh?
My list…

Jon Acuff 

Mike Rowe (The Way I Heard It podcast)

Bob Goff

Jenny Lawson


People you may not know…

My Life Group (church small group)

Book Club

Sharon Sontag

Kristen and Jeff (my neighbors)

Marriage Savers

Marriage saving may be false advertising as nothing can save a marriage like Jesus, but as we’re coming up on our 10 year anniversary, we have found there are some helpful tools (like actual objects) that have either kept an argument from happening or solved a problem that was leading to grudgy (not a word but it should be) feelings.

Our first compromise… A toaster oven/conventional toaster combo.  When registering for our wedding we realized how differently we were raised.  He grew up with a toaster that springs, I was raised with a toaster oven.  Worlds apart, I know.  If this is you, there’s a product for that.

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My arguments for choosing a toaster oven was sandwich melts and butter storage.  (In our family, we put butter on a plate and kept it in the toaster oven for safe keeping.  I later learned that my mom did this because her butter dish broke and something about mice? )  Funny how the way things were when you were a kid creates a belief system for “the way this is supposed to be done” even when it wasn’t a preference of your parents but just a problem solver at a specific time with specific circumstances.   It’ll be great when my kids register for their wedding and they scan long handled tongs to reach things up high.  “Because that’s what you do.”  Ha!

Back to the toaster… We used our compromise happily until it broke then got a cheap pop up toaster.  I really didn’t make sandwich melts anymore and I started using a butter dish… and storing it in the fridge so it doesn’t go rancid.

My in-laws gave us these and actually called them “marriage savers.”

Are you a toothpaste tube squeezer who doesn’t mind if you’re pushing product toward or away from the opening or do you thoughtfully and wastelessly squeeze toward the spout?  Most likely you’re one and your spouse is the other and you need these cheap little plastic pinchers to appease the waste-conscious one.  We should all practice tooth hygiene grudge-free.

Do you wake up your spouse in the middle of the night when your fitted sheet comes off the corner of your mattress so you can pull it back down?  I Googled something like “fitted sheet suspenders” and I found these bad boys and got them for my husband’s birthday as the “Something you Need” present.  It was sure hard to wait until his birthday to give this gift.  These may be my new go-to wedding gift.

Finally, I do this to extension cords…img_6738Some may call it braided but it really is hand crocheted in a simple chain.  All you do is pull the ends and it comes right out if it’s crocheted right and if it is pulled correctly, but it drives my husband crazy.  He just winds cords in a loop, but that can make a knot really easily.  We nearly had to have his and hers extension cords.  Recently he bought this hand cranking spool to store our extension cord.

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I don’t intend to product promote with this blog, but these are my current marriage savers, and I want to hear yours too!  If you can think of a tool that you use to avoid petty arguments please share it; far better to have a list of marriage savers than deal breakers.