I was asked by a friend recently about my take on the Clancy trial. When mental health makes it into the news, especially postpartum psychosis, it hits very close to home. I’m heartsick for the whole family experiencing such a great loss.
My own experience with postpartum psychosis thankfully did not turn me on my children. But yes, I do know what it’s like to have irrational thoughts, feeling the need to “save” those around me by drastic measures, auditory hallucinations, and delusional thinking. I also remember a whole lot about that experience’s trauma. Was it me acting in that bizarre way. Yes it was. Did I have control over my actions, yes and no. The pull to act on the limited information I had was very strong. It’s like 2+2 equals 22.
My second stay in the hospital after my son was born included lots of time around a large table with other patients. We went over big phrases in the mental health repertoire like, “You can’t help others until you help yourself,” which I remember pushing back on as a mother of a newborn, I felt it was my job to put my child’s needs ahead of my own. As well as: There are still consequences and we will be held accountable for our actions.
Getting on the right track of treatment makes all the difference, and being put in a safe environment while that treatment is adjusted can save innocent lives. As much as the hospital is its own form of scary, there’s sense in it too. I’m so grateful for how my family, especially my husband, took my mental health crisis as just that, a crisis to be handled with the utmost care.
My experience leads me to great compassion on anyone experiencing the affects of psychosis. We must do better to protect both innocent lives and the patient’s needs. September is National Suicide Prevention Month. If you or someone you love is experiencing thoughts of self-harm, please seek help. You are made in the image of God and you are worth saving.
manageable mess 